February 2012
94 posts
My [married] boss just told me
he sometimes sleeps on the couch “just to vary it up.”
Me:
My boss just told me
I look like that picture of the Depression-era mother whenever he looks over at me working.
I’m just serious about researching the sentience of jellyfish sometimes. As are we all.
1 tag
“Whatever you’re filled with will spill out when you’re bumped.”
Daddy don't mince no words.
I bought him a “pancake pen” for his first stint cooking pancakes at the church my parents just joined:
“The only drawback was having to refill it so many times since we were making so many, and, since I was the only one there that knew what he was doing, I was making more pancakes than the rest. Maybe I shouldn’t say I was the only one there that knew what he was doing;...
My boss just asked me if I thought it was okay...
Me, right now.
2 tags
Someone just told me they "don't think John Cusack...
BRB.
Desperate times call for.
Molly: "Do you know a guy at your work named Matt, kind of goth-y looking?"
Me: "Yeah, I think I've seen him. Always wears a hoodie?"
Molly: "Yep. Kind of...scary looking? Like he'll slit your threat at any moment?"
Scot (from the other room): "Is he gay? Does he need a boyfriend?"
Brought to tears by jellyfish.
This job is getting to me today.
1 tag
So I brought cookies to work today.
I work in an office of 150, but our little division of the building there’s 10 of us. I got a bunch of vegan cookies that people go apeshit for here, and put them with Mardi Gras cards for a little Fat Tuesday celebration. I put everyone’s name on the cards in a calligraphy pen, and they looked pretty damn good.
This morning, my boss comes up and asks if he can give his cookie to Dan....
New sheets, motherfucka.
I’m going to watch so many “30 Rock” episodes on these bad boys.
“I’ll try anything once, twice if I like it, three times to make sure.”
– Mae West.
“She would defend herself, saying that love, no matter what else it might be, was...”
– Gabriel García Márquez, Love in the Time of Cholera
