Dave's and my first gig is Saturday.
We have one more day of rehearsal. Speaking of rehearsals, here is what all of our rehearsals sound like: Me: “So, for ‘Skylark,’ did we decide on the key of - “ Dave: “Do you want me to open a bottle of wine?” Me: “YES.” We are tens kinds of fucccccccccccked
Whatever one does, the inner shmuck never quite goes away.– Alain de Botton (via nevver)
If owning a gun and knowing how to use it worked, the military would be the...– A Short Post on Rape Prevention (via brute-reason) Exactly. Be honest: You don’t give a shit about rape victims. You don’t fucking care. You make excuses for the rapists all the damn time. This is about policing women’s bodies and telling them to just ‘shut up and stop complaining about your...
I had breakfast with my dad this morning.
My mom may be having another surgery, which everyone is handling pretty well except for when we really, you know, stop and think about what that might mean. So we’re eating egg sandwiches and all of a sudden, Dad’s bottom lip just starts quivering, and, well - that was pretty much it. Also, no one on this planet looks sadder than my dad when he cries, and his voice goes up an octave,...
Ugh. I forgot how watching "Pretty in Pink" gets...
Rich dudes are such pricks, except…when they’re not?
SHUTTIN IT DOWN DADDY-STYLE
Me: "Ugh. I'm too short to wear Capri pants."
Dad: "I was the only one short enough in my platoon to go check the tunnels for Viet Cong."
Realizing 30 minutes into a 1980 Milton Friedman...
but an important one.
To be fair, the Med-Veggie sandwich is $6.99.
IT Guy: “Where’d y’all go for lunch?” Me: “Panera.” IT Guy: “HUH. Figured you’d be one of those high society types.” Me:
The world will knock you down plenty. You don’t need to be doing it to yourself.– Elizabeth Scott, Perfect You (via erraticintrovert)
That will be my last college graduation party...
Grad: “Laura, I’m so glad you came. You’re a hero of mine. Seriously.” Me: [Later that night] Grad: “…and my uncle sent me a signed copy of her book! It’s my prized possession. Courtney Love is a hero of mine.” Me:
An agitated liberal in the South is the most tired...
My grandfather was a defense lawyer in Suffolk, Virginia, from the ’50s until his death in the early ’70s. Even though he had a sexy degree from UVA (which, in the good ol’ Southland, has a well-earned reputation for opening more doors for you than a piece of paper from Harvard), his clients were almost exclusively black or white “ditch jumpers” - people so poor, they had to “jump a...
If you wanted to put me or my mother in our own...
all you’d have to do is ask us to coordinate a move of some sort. We get on like a house on fire most of the time, but put one cardboard box in the mix and it’s threats of matricide.
Oh, man, you guys.
There’s a dude at work who keeps saying “the gist of it,” but he’s pronouncing gist with a hard g - as in “give” - and he used it twice during our meeting today. Dude: “Do you get the gist of it?” Me: “…excuse me?” Dude: “Do you get the GIST of it, the GIST of the document?” Me:
Gahhhhhhhhh this week has been insane.
New job: fantastic. We have three fancy industrial Keurigs on our floor alone, THE KIND WHERE YOU DON’T EVEN HAVE TO ADD WATER. You just press a couple of buttons and the coffee robot does the rest. Magic. Coworkers are lovely. Boss is cool as hell. Day is packed. I stuffed far too many activities into this week and may be dead by the weekend (I’ll wait until after my brunch date with...
Familiarity breeds contempt.
Hot Curator [discussing the benefactress of the Hermitage]: “She was a bit of a - well, a bit of a hard-ass.” Me: “Yeah, from everything I’ve gathered, she sounded like she could be a mega-bitch.” Hot Curator: Me: